I am by no means a perfect parent or believe that I have anything to offer in the world of advice and therefore this blog is not advice. It’s just a sharing of a lessons in the middle of me learning them. They are lessons I want to jot down for myself, so I don’t forget.
My latest two parenting epiphanies in this current stage we are in of 3 – 7 year olds and a 9 year old – is to first say yes when possible. Or in other words, don’t say “no” just to say “no”. And most recently – is to allow, encourage and promote the small things that bring great joy.
Hmmmm so what does that really mean? I think several months ago I found myself realizing that in an “innocent” attempt to control the chaos of 4 kids – I was constantly saying “no” to what seemed like everything I was asked. I’m trying to think of an example to share but nothing is really specifically coming to mind. But I was like, am I saying “no” just because or is there a real reason? We have some super great and creative kids. They love to be wild and crazy and they come up with some super creative plans and crafts and games. A lot of times I think my “nos” were stifling their creativity though. So now, I really try and think through it. Am I saying “no” because it’s inconvenient for me or because it really wouldn’t be in their best interest. (And sometimes it’s a ”no” because they are destroying the house with their “creativity.”) Sometimes these “nos” were even just them asking to do something with me? “Mom, can you paint my toenails.” “Mom, can you come watch our karate moves upstairs.” “Mom, can you come find us in our hiding places.” Or “Mom, can I crack the eggs this time?” It’s sad that I don’t always say yes to these things and yes, sometimes I am tired or cooking or it’s just not the right time but these moments don’t last forever. So even though we may not have a “yes day” as the kids beg for and tell me the first thing they would ask for is my debit card – hopefully there have been a lot more yes’s in their life from me then there were a few months ago.
And now…. It’s the joy of small things. Just recently C discovered a can of reddi whip in our refrigerator. He was so excited about all the possibilities of using reddi whip and even just squirting it in his mouth. Unfortunately, the can was expired – like waaaaaay expired (even though I don’t think we had had it very long) so I had to throw it out. But on the next grocery order, I got him another can of reddi whip. It’s a small price to pay for so much 7 year old joy. And a couple of days ago we were washing our dog outside in her little portable tub we use. L&B were helping me and having the best time. But then they wanted to be squirted with the water hose. They were in their bathing suits and having the best time. We finished with the dog and as I was about to take her in, they had been discussing filling the little pool with water and I told them “no” because it was dirty. But when I returned from taking the dog in, they had of course done just that very thing. Yes, they were disobedient, and we did talk about that – but they had so much joy in playing in that super small little pool. The laughter and fun was just so much joy over such a small thing. In that moment, I felt that it was more important to let them have all that fun, and just let it go. Small things that had a huge win for joy and just enjoying life and being a kid.
Parenting is definitely a struggle nearly every day. Just with navigating the how tos and trying to figure out what is best and how to lead, guide and teach them. Even when you have great kids! But so much of the journey is about us as parents and how we depend on the Lord to show us, change us and help us see things through His lens. And that is my prayer, that God will continue to guide and mold and shape me, as I continue to guide and lead them.
Brokenness Restored 